Anything but this
by xXsuju-ELFXx
Summary: Stan can live with the fact that his love for Kenny is one-sided. But when Kenny starts dating Stan's sister he can't take it anymore. Kyle encourages him to not give up - maybe it is possible to turn a straight man gay.


It was Friday night and me and Kyle had the house for ourselves. My parents had gone to visit some aunt or something I had never heard of before and left us alone. Their last words to my older sister had been "Take good care of Stan now while we are gone, Shelly." and she had just nodded and smiled as she always did while our parents were around. Only minutes after mom and dad had left she went to a friend and I haven't seen her since. Not that I'm complaining, I've had enough of her torturing for a lifetime already so it's just nice to get a break from it all even if it's just for one day.

The whole bed vibrated as Kyle's phone lit up, telling him he had gotten a text message. He rolled over to his stomach and as he read it his face lit up in a smile.

"From Bebe?" I asked as I went back to focus on the movie neither of us was really interested in, it was just playing in the background as we did absolutely nothing.

"Yeah."

"Always thought you would fall for someone a bit... smarter."

"I know but.. she's really hot. I mean come on, even you have to admit that. And she's really funny." The smile in his face told me that he really liked her. And even I could see how lots of guys would find her physically attractive.

"You're the experts on girls in this room so I guess I'll have to trust you on that one."

"Yeah, and sure maybe smart girls are more my type but... Bebe is... Bebe, you know? She's special."

"So are you going to ask her out or are you just going to keep being a pussy and text her things you wish you had the guts to say in person?" He hit my arm and I whined and pretended that it actually hurt. We laughed.

"Soon. Just afraid that she'll reject me."

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious, dude? Why would she?" He blushed and shook his head.

"I don't know.."

I patted his back reassuringly. "Believe me: she wont." he smiled at me but the second he saw my facial expression change from a sincere smile to a vicious smirk he furrowed his eyebrows.

"I'm going to help you, Kyle." I said in a soft voice, the smirk still not leaving my face.

"What are you talking abo- HEY!" he reacted a bit faster than I had hoped on when I quickly took his cellphone and made a run towards the door. By the time I had almost reached the bathroom he tried to grasp for my arm but I go away from him and managed to lock the door behind me.

When I got out from there only a couple of seconds later Kyle threw himself at me.

"Oh, god I hate you sometimes! What the fuck did you do?"

"Relax..." handed him his cellphone. "Just, thought I'd help you out some."

"What the _fuck _did you write to her?" at that moment I was really happy that looks couldn't kill because the way his green eyes seemed to burn with fury was upright scary. I still wanted to mess with him.

"Let's fuck."

His face was bright red and his eyes seemed to tear up in anger the way they only did when he was so pissed off at something he didn't know how to act. And then he started punching me again. Over and over again, right in the stomach while he kept telling me what an asshole I were. He kept on going until he finally noticed that I was laughing. He stopped hesitantly and I took his phone again, this time to show him the actual message.

"Dude, I'm just messing with you. 'We should hang out sometime', see?"

He sighed and I led him back to my room. Apparently he still hated me but I knew he would be thanking me soon enough when he and Bebe got married and had a bunch of red haired children with big boobs (if they had girls that is). I decided that maybe I was planning a bit far ahead so I decided to change that to that he would be thanking me when he lost his virginity to one of the hottest girls in school.

The phone was on the bed once again and Kyle was walking around aimlessly while telling me how much he was going to kill me if she said no.

I calmly told him that first of all; she wouldn't say no because Kyle was the best guy she could ever choose to date – maybe even a bit too good for her but I never told him about that part, feeling that I didn't want to upset him more by insulting his crush. And second of all; if she did say no I promised to take the bullet and tell her I took his phone and started texting random people stuff.

"Oh, god. Stan, what should I do? She's not replying!"

"Calm down, dude, it's been like two minutes. Maybe she just haven't seen the text yet."

"But maybe she has and are laughing so hard over how pathetic I-" The bed vibrated and the phone lit up the otherwise mostly dark room. Kyle took one huge step in the direction of the ¨bed and then turned around again and covered his eyes.

"I can't look! You'll have to read it for me."

I took the phone and smirked again. Yeah, Kyle would definitely have to thank me now.

"It's from your mom, she says that you have to remember to brush your teeth before you go to bed and don't stay up too long."

"Please tell me you're joking again, I can't take all this pressure!" In only a couple of minutes Kyle had become more and more hysterical and now the transformation was complete. He had turned into Tweek. I laughed at how overly dramatic he was about the whole situation but then again I was pretty sure that I would have been the same in his shoes. I held the phone up in front of his nose.

"Relax, I think you should read it yourself." He took the phone from me and held it a bit further away so that he could read the text.

His face cracked up into a smile.

"She even sent a smiley face!" I said cheerfully.

"What should I reply?" he stared at the screen as his fingers did a funny little dance as he tried to come up with something to write.

"Ask her if she wants to go to the movies with you tomorrow night."

He did as I told him and then he pushed me down on the bed and started hugging me. As he nuzzled my neck I could hear a silent "Thanks, dude."

I held him close to me as he rested his head on my chest.

"If you are going to start dating Bebe now... isn't this considered cheating?" I laughed.

"We're not dating yet. And besides, you're my super best friend, she will have to live with our bromance."

When Kyle's phone vibrated again he flew up from the bed to read it. I sat up as well so that I could see what she had replied. _'There are no good movie tomorrow, how about we watch something at my house instead?' _

"Dude." Kyle was speechless.

"I told you she liked you!" I said triumphantly. Kyle and Bebe continued to send cute and flirty text messages for the next thirty minutes as I tried to catch up on what we had missed of the film – which was pretty much everything – I wondered if I would have understood why Johnny Depp was having sex with a woman right outside of a burning building. But I didn't really care that much about the plot at the moment. The only important thing was that Johnny Depp was hot as always.

"It feels like I need to set you up with someone as thanks for you helping me out." Kyle's statement pulled me out of my fantasies of the older man.

"Yes, I want Johnny Depp as my boyfriend, please."

"I'm serious, Stan." I sighed and turned around.

"You don't have to, I'm fine being single right now." I said as I turned around so that he wouldn't see the dark red blush that was covering my face.

"You like Kenny, right?" _I froze, how the fuck could you know that, Kyle?_

"Is it that obvious?" I tried to keep control of my voice.

"We're super best friends, remember? I know everything about you."

I turned of the TV. I didn't feel like watching it anymore. I didn't feel like doing anything anymore.

"Do you love him?" Those words. Even though they only came from Kyle, the Jewish ginger boy I had known my entire life. When I knew that he was talking about Kenny my heart raced and I wanted to throw up. _Take a deep breath, Stan. _

"I don't know. Maybe..." I sighed. "Not that it matters anyway, it's not as if he is interested in me."

"Are you sure?" The pause before Kyle spoke made me wonder if it was because he thought the different or if it was because he knew I was speaking the truth.

"Well you know there's something I don't have that I know that he wants: Boobs. He's not into guys." Having to state the harsh reality that I always tried to ignore out loud shattered my soul into little pieces. But there was really no reason for me to keep my hopes up.

"He slept with Butters."

My heart sank.

"What? When?"

"A couple of weeks ago at Token's party. He took Butters' virginity."

I had already made up my mind to repress this night the first thing tomorrow. I really didn't need all of this painful information. He did go for guys as well. But not me. I could even remember the party. I had had a couple of drinks and I knew he would be a bit drunk too so I had planned to make a pass at him, thinking that maybe it wouldn't matter that we were the same sex. I looked for him everywhere but I couldn't find him.

Now I know were he was. With a guy. A guy that wasn't me.

"A-are they dating now or what?" I tried my hardest not to stutter out the words.

"I haven't seen them together since so I doubt it."

The silence that occurred between us was a rare, awkward silence. I didn't like it at all but I didn't feel like talking either so I decided to just keep quiet.

It was enough that I was screaming on the inside. Kyle broke the silence.

"Isn't the fact that he slept with Butters a good thing? I mean, now we know that he's not completely straight and then the two of you could get together."

"I don't know, it might be... but still, just because he might be.. bisexual.. doesn't mean that he will like me."

"Then all we have to do is get him to like-"

"I'm tired... can we talk about this some other time?"

I didn't feel like talking about him anymore. I had gone from feeling like a real relationship-expert when I helped Kyle with Bebe to now feeling like a total failure that would end up being alone for the rest of my life now when I thought about my own situation. _Why is it that it's always so much easier to help the people around you than to help yourself?_

"Sure. You wanna go to sleep?" I nodded and after removing my pants and shirt I crawled under the sheets. Kyle followed suit only seconds later. I knew it was just barely past midnight. On a Friday. When we should have been out having fun.

_I think I'll just silently cry myself to sleep instead._

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next morning Kyle was still asleep next to me. I couldn't help but wonder how I could be the one who was awake considering that I knew I had fallen asleep way after I first heard him snore. Not wanting to think about last night and all the thoughts that had disturbed my sleep I figured it was a mystery better left unsolved. Any normal day I would have punched Kyle with my pillow until he woke up but I felt like I needed to freshen up before I talked to him – to make sure there were no signs of my tears from last night showing.<p>

My stomach growled so I got out of the bed and down to the kitchen. I knew that if Shelly had come home last night she was probably very hungover and still asleep so I didn't bother putting any clothes on. That the cool air gave me goosebumps at first wasn't bad enough for me to bother looking for my clothes in the dark.

The door to Shelly's room was open so I guessed she had gotten home sometime after I fell asleep. I didn't think about it until I got down to the kitchen. I froze.

Some guy, just as half-naked as me was looking through our fridge.

Shelly had brought some guy home last night.

I honestly never thought that the day would come when I would see Shelly _actually _bringing a guy home. Sure, she had boyfriends when she was younger like Larry Feegan when she was 13 but since he died I couldn't remember her ever dating anyone. Not that I found that weird since she could be a real bitch sometimes.

Thinking about it, it was actually kind of weird that Shelly didn't bring home guys more often since she was quite good looking. I though that maybe when she took off her headgear she would become less violent and mean... but maybe she'd grown to like it during the four years she had her headgear on.

Even as her gay brother I could say that she was attractive. She was tall, but not too tall and had since she hit puberty developed a really nice figure and now when she was nineteen I guess she was a full grown woman. She looked like a younger version of mom and I know she was popular when she was younger (hell, even some of my friends still think she's hot).

I myself looked a lot like dad and he's ugly. Just as I am.

I am short, and not very strong. Because of my weak physic I was no longer the quarterback of the football team – Clyde had gotten that part – so I never worked out at all. I still wasn't fat or anything, I just didn't have any muscles to show off with. I was just like the average boy, a bit shorter than average but from the rest of my looks I could still call myself average.

My face was nothing special either, my nose was too big on my face which I prayed every day was because I was still growing into it. My eyes were the most common of all the blue colors, I wished they would have had a more icy shade, like Kenny's so that I would have had something that was beautiful but that would never happen. My lips were so thin that they almost didn't exist at all. Not one thing did I have to show off. That's probably why no one cared about me.

Shelly came running down the stairs, only wearing panties and a t-shirt that was way too big for her.

"Move it, turd." she said as she pushed me out of her way to kiss and embrace the mysterious guy. He kissed her back, still not noticing me standing there feeling more and more sick for every second my brain told me that it was actually him. It was he who rested his hands on her waist and pulled her even closer and then smiled at her before turning around to face me.

It was actually true.

In front of me stood a boy about two inches taller than me. He had a nice figure with broad shoulders but there weren't an ounce of fat on his body. He was tanned with lots of pale scars covering basically his entire body, some bigger and some barely noticeable. He had a sharp jawline and high cheekbones. His nose was just the prefect size for his face and I just wanted to run up to him and kiss his perfect lips right at that very moment. He was everything that I wasn't and would never have. He stared directly at me with his ice blue eyes, obviously just as shocked as me and all I could think of was things like _'what is he doing here? It can't be him it just can't!'_

I didn't want him to be here. Not like this, he'd gone home with my sister and I couldn't take that. Anything but that! _Anything!_

"Kenny..." my low voice cracked as I held back the tears that was burning in my eyes.

"Stan, I... I can explain everything." he said and took one step towards me. I backed two steps away from him and shook my head.

"No... no! I don't want to hear it!"

I ran up the stairs, not even checking if he was following me. My room was not an option since that would wake Kyle up so I chose to lock myself in the bathroom instead.

After a couple of seconds Kenny knocked on the door and I tried my hardest to not sob loud enough for him to hear. I didn't open the door and after a while he went away. I didn't open the door until I knew that no one was outside and then I went back to bed with Kyle again. I scooted as close as possible to my super best friend, finding comfort in his warmth.

Then I fell asleep again.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading!<em>

_I hope that my bad English didn't torture you too much but it's my second language and I am trying as good as I can. I hope you find the story interesting so far and please review and give me your opinion (but please not too much hate since I'm new here) on the story._

_Love, xXsuju-ELFXx_


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